Hello from newlywed Jess! In our October Wrap Up podcast episode I gave a few reccos for before, during and after your wedding and since getting messages to say how reassuring it was I thought I’d expand and drop a few more truth bombs, along with some fun things I did on the day in case you need any wedding inspo and some general planning tips which I’m hoping as a full time Event Manager are helpful!
And no, there won’t be pics of my husband in the post, if you follow us you’ll know he is a private person and would prefer not to be shared - soz he’s all mine!
Things you should know before your wedding
The main one is to soak up this special time, it really is like no other and will fly by! If you’re like me and conscious about annoying those around you, I’ll tell you that a) the people who really love you will be just as excited b) everyone is actually very nosey about other people’s weddings… anyway onto the practical advice.
Suppliers
Obviously you’ve booked your venue first (please do this first) and so I’d recco then looking at photographers, bands, cake makers, florists etc. who have worked at the venue before by browsing tagged photos and locations on Instagram. It just makes everything easier if they already know the space.
I’d also try to be smart about how many different people you’re involving and thus have to deal with. For example Mark Bamforth was our photographer, videographer and brought the photobooth, and the DJ who played in between the band’s sets was organised by the band - and BOY would I recco The Vibrations who bring all the vibes and then seamlessly transition to amazing mixes from the DJ in between so you don’t even mind when it is no longer the incredible live music playing!
Suppliers who also already work together will make your life easier too - my AMAZING hair and make up artists work together all the time and are so in sync that you will not be stretched for time in the morning - and sorry but did you see that bridal braid??
But my main tip regarding suppliers, as mentioned on the pod, is that you are their customer and are paying them for a service! Yes they are very busy people, particularly during the summer when it is peak season, but you are still a customer and you should not be scared to be called a bridezilla purely for chasing for a response to a perfectly normal question. Write this down: Bridezilla is an antifeminist term preventing women from getting what they want.
The Dress
What should be one of the most exciting and special parts, or at least I thought it would be, was by far my most stressful. Of course I didn’t help myself by going bespoke and whilst I love that no one else will ever wear the same dress as me, I’d have had an easier life if I bought one off the rack.
Anyway, as mentioned on the pod I want to reassure you all that it is okay if you don’t get the “this is the one” feeling, it's a bit of a myth. You’ll end up with a dress you like because you’ve tried on X, Y and Z to get to it. As long as you feel good in it then that's all that matters, not whether you get this completely made up feeling that everyone pressurises you to feel.
Oh and also I highly recco choosing an evening outfit to make sure you can dance the night away! Pun intended there as my first dance was a surprise routine to Dua Lipa’s Barbie Movie song with all my best friends that we learnt on my hen do!
Decor
My wedding was themed around Autumn given that it was an October wedding (and we love the season!), but of course not all weddings have to have a theme. What I would say is that choosing your colour palette, metal, font and vibe are helpful for making all decisions. Use pinterest and Instagram to save anything that captures your eye and create a common thread from there, it will be so helpful in choosing bridesmaid dresses, flowers, and your cake even!
I’m pretty crafty so knew I wanted to make as much as I could - hand painting candlesticks, calligraphy on signage, pinecone name cards you name it! But so as not to overwhelm myself with a long to do list (or spend too much in one go), as soon as I had finalised an idea I would make it, so I spent most of 2023 making things in little sessions and only saving the table plan as the final piece of the puzzle in the final month - and even then I had to redo it due to drop outs but we’ll come onto that…
I know from my career in events how much can be spent on big floral centre pieces so I opted for little vases of dried stems I bought myself across the year, single flowers in bottles from the florist, tree stumps from a local horticulture team and then a mix of candles all within the autumnal theme. I had so much fun browsing charity shops for candle holders, and I then bought a bunch of candles all with a particular scent I liked in bulk so that our wedding would have a smell. I vividly remember smelling them during the ceremony and now whenever we light the candles at home we are taken back to the day.
I used printed.com to make the table numbers as I wanted them to be multipurpose, so they also displayed the menu on one side and a QR code for guests to upload their pics and videos from the day to a shared Google Photo album - we loved this as we now we have everything in one place and all guests can browse everyones content!
The Guests
Yes you’re spending a lot of money on people coming to your wedding, but chances are they are too! New outfits, hotels, taxis, celebrations in the lead up to and it is quite a long old day for them, so we were really conscious that we wanted to make everyone feel special.
This included baskets with helpful bits in the bathrooms (plasters, deodorant etc.), flip flops for boogying in the evening (I got most on Facebook marketplace from other brides who had bought too many), hangover hydration for everyone to take in their taxis at the end of the night and a candle for each of them to take home. We also had a basket of our favourite games for anyone who needed a dancefloor break, which was a personal touch as everyone knows we love a board game!
You’ll have been strict on the guest list making sure your nearest and dearest are included, and the occasional plus one to make sure everyone is comfortable and can have a good time, however you will have people drop out at last minute. This happened to us on three occasions, so we asked some of our evening guests if they would like to come to the day, it is worth having in mind who you may invite in this scenario.
Hen Do Outfits
I really wanted to wear fun, cute bridal outfits that I would never normally wear because if you can’t on your hen do then when can you?! But as a result I knew I’d never wear them again so I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on them and I got all of them second hand on Vinted! I then listed them after the wedding too and made all the money back again and felt so happy knowing someone else would get the same joy I did out of wearing them - so check Vinted/Depop/charity shops!
Tips for making the most of the wedding day itself
I actually had a v stressful morning getting ready due to the venue’s event manager calling in sick and a mix up with a supplier, so I leapt into Event mode and started organising as much as I could myself and then reminded myself the most important thing about the day was my husband to be and our loved ones. So my first tip is to make peace with the fact that no one is in your brain and can’t possibly make things look exactly how you want, or have things run as smoothly as you’d like because you can’t be everywhere at once!
We’d chosen to walk down the aisle together early on in our planning, so when our photographer suggested we do an official “first look” with him we figured why not! And it was so nice for having that private moment and to ground each other and settle any nerves, even if you aren’t walking down the aisle together I’d really recco it - plus you bank some pictures so that you don’t miss too much of the rest of the day doing posed shots!
The drinks reception after the ceremony is a mad whirlwind of having the same conversations with each guest about how the day is going so far/how you look etc. so I’d recco allowing no more than 3-5mins with each person so you can tick as many off as you can, and then catching up with the rest during the meal just doing a quick whip round to tables. Once you know you’ve spoken to everyone you can relax a bit more.
We had heard that it can be hard for the couple to spend time together on the day so we opted for a “sweet heart table” at the wedding breakfast, where we just sat the two of us and it was perfect for catching up, sharing stories and having fun. Top tables are very old school!
As mentioned on the podcast, we organised a game for all the tables of “Who would you rather” where each table received 10 post cards asking if they’d rather rob a bank with the bride and the groom, or who they’d rather was their drill sergeant (and so on) with space for them to write a reason why. We had so much fun reading them back and it was a great way to get our guests talking and mingling. Again I got these printed cheaply with printed.com.
What you should know about the aftermath of the wedding
It is very fun to have a little “day 2,” for your closest friends and family, for us this looked like a mass rounders match. It just gives you a chance to hear about the day from other people and stay on that high for a little longer surrounded by the people you love. Even if this is a group breakfast at the hotel you’re all staying at rather than anything very organised it should definitely be done.
We went on honeymoon 6 days after the wedding which felt perfect, we had enough time to chill out, eat leftover cake (although there is some in the freezer too) and then pack before going away. But I really would recco going as soon as you can rather than leaving it a year for a big trip, that newlywed bubble is perhaps one of the happiest times of my life and whilst nothing changes day to day, that part really is so special.
No one tells you how emotional opening wedding cards is! So pace yourself in reading them and savouring them. I’m very glad we didn’t opt for a guest book as a result too, we asked guests to write a note for our 1 year anniversary and put them in a jar, so I assume we’ll cry whilst reading those too…
Pro tip: because my decor was seasonal and we got married at the start of October, I listed it all on Facebook marketplace the day before the wedding on Friday and someone came to collect £150 worth of it on the Monday, so think about the time of year, and making money back when planning.
I’m sure there’s more but I've rambled on for long enough! I really hope this helps and you have a wonderful wedding day!
Jess x